NZ All Time Loser Test XI

One of the great things about sport is comparing great players and performances over time, and this is especially true of cricket as it is a statistician's wet dream. Many times I have created All Time XIs, World XIs and so on. Then I got to thinking- what about all the truly crap players that have represented New Zealand over the years?

There have been so many that it is probably harder to decide the worst players than the greatest. So here are my picks for the worst NZ cricket team of all time. Note these are not just once off losers, but guys who defied all normal performance standards and got regularly picked (i.e. minimum of ten games) despite their consistent crappiness. Batting and bowling averages appear after the name.

1. Trevor Franklin (bat 23.00). Slow and technically weak, Franklin's only saving grace was that John Wright seemed to bat well when they opened together.
   
2. Blair Pocock (bat 22.93) Pocock made a gritty 34 and 28 on debut against Australia at Perth, but this was only through force of determination. It was obvious he was out of his depth against class bowling.
   
3. Craig Spearman (bat 26.34) Spearman looks great when he plays his normal aggressive game. Unfortunately, his normal game only lasted a couple of overs. Played a staggering amount of games given his poor record, especially when you add in his one day career (50 innings at 18.71 as an opener)
4. Ken Rutherford (bat 27.08) To be fair, Rutherford had one of the worst introductions to test cricket, after being made to open the batting as a teenager against the West Indies in the height of their pomp in the 80s- he made a pair on debut and 12 runs in his first 7 innings. His potential seemed enough to overcome this horror start, but flashes of brilliance were all he was able to come up with.
5. Chris Harris (bat 20.44, bowl 73.12) Harris really only made it in the test team because he was the top NZ ODI player for so long that the selectors felt obliged to pick him. But he never made the step up, and even his normally effective medium pace dobbers-come-leggies were picked off with ease.
6. Dipak Patel (bat 20.68, bowl 42.05) Patel was once rated so highly that NZ and England were fighting to see who could secure his services. A stylish and technically sound batsman, Patel began his career batting at number 4, but ended at number 9 or 10. Eventually his off-spinners took prominence, but that's not saying much.
7. Lee Germon +* (bat 21.22) Germon was effectively picked for the team as a specialist captain. Parore was a superior keeper and a better bat, but room was found for Germon when it was realised that none the squad would make an effective captain. Germon tried his best and toughed it out, but was never up to test level.
8. Grant Bradburn (bat 13.12, bowl 76.66). Bradburn gets my vote as the worst player to even don a Black Cap. Although he only played 7 tests, I have included him in this team because he was recalled to the team 10 yrs after first playing for NZ. His slow, non-spinning off-spinners were barely effective on NZ dodgy surfaces, and plain embarrassing against international teams. His best performance was in his last test against Pakistan, in which he did not bat or bowl.
9. Murphy Sua (bat 12.69, bowl 38.25) Su'a made it into the NZ team under the little known "closing the gaps" policy in place in NZ sport during the 90s. He was the first Samoan to play test cricket, and made history again as the first Samoan to be dropped for being crap.
10. Chris Pringle (bat10.29, bowl 46.30)Pringle was arguably our most effective one day bowler, and was the second fastest bowler to take 100 ODI wickets. But for some reason he was pants in the test arena, and had his only success when he sliced the ball up with a bottle top.
    
11. Shayne O'Connor (bat 5.72, bowl 32.52) O'Connor looked the goods, as he was able to get appreciable swing bowling over the wicket to right handers. Unforunately he bowled 4 rubbish balls for every good one, and got picked off as a result. He does get partial credit for that absolute jaffa to dismiss Steve Waugh, but he loses that credit for spelling Shayne with a "y".