A helping hand before the game

Gary Kirsten, coach of the Indian cricket team, has recommended that his players get laid before their big games. The theory being that sex leads a release of testosterone which improves athletic performance. Naturally, this has lead to an uproar in the devoutly Hindu country.

But of far more interest to this blogger, are the they-almost-write-themselves opportunities for puns and immature giggling.

The Indian team has reportedly been given a four-page dossier outlining the benefits of a bit of a pre-match rumping. As if men need a dossier of information to convince them that sex is good.

Then we have Mike Hussey from the Australian team, commenting that he's been away from his wife for a number of months, so can't partake in this particular piece of advice. However, he notes that

one option is to go solo whilst imagining you have a partner, or a few partners, who are as beautiful as you wish to imagine. No pillow-talk and no hugging required.

Does this mean that the Aussies are officially wankers? And do guys really need advice from other dudes on how to flog the dog?

And, in possibly the best segue ever, this article notes that the Indian cricketers have been encouraged to do the deed before the game, and then notes that

Meanwhile, hard-hitting Indian batsman Yuvraj Singh has been ruled out of the Champions Trophy due to an injury, the Indian cricket board said in a statement on Wednesday."Yuvraj has fractured a finger in his right hand and has been ruled out for six weeks," the Board of Control for Cricket in India said in a press release.

Is this a case of out: handled the ball?