Days 139-146: Sussex and Gloucestershire, England

An English "summer" is a dreary affair, for sure, the sun is scorching, but it makes only fleeting appearances, spending most the time hidden behind layers of thick, pillowy cloud.  Calling it summer is pushing things somewhat, a bit like passing off bangers and mash as 'cuisine'.

Mind you, such perennially lousy weather does go some way to explaining why the English are such a nation of hand-wringing wet blankets.  The opposite of the sun-baked optimism of the Aussies, a confidence and swagger born of a land blessed with sun, beaches and minerals.  No, England is a country of tskers and tut-tutters, whose job it is to protect everyone from any potential harm or offence, no matter how slight.  And most of all protect people from themselves.  Warning signs are posted everywhere, no matter how mundane, trivial or obvious the risk.  In the car park- warning: hot cars can kill your dog.  In a medieval castle- warning: stairs can be narrow and steep.  On a frozen packet of curry- warning: contents can be hot.  There's even a life preserver stationed next to a small pond barely 2 metres across at the site of the Battle of Hastings.  At one point, I overhear a family with tour guide "and here, at this field in 1066, thousands of men were killed as the Normans conquered England leading to... FOR GODSAKE MAN WATCHOUT! You'll get wet shoes if you're not careful".  Or perhaps I imagined that part.

But then, England is just lovely.  There's not many better ways to relax than wandering through centuries old villages, stopping at the local church and cemetery where generations of families lie together, or climbing through farmlands and hills, wandering alongside rivers and into fields of heather.

And, once you're sick of following stone walls and valleys,  sick of 500 year old churches, quaint villages and historic castles, there is the pub.  Universally friendly, you can sit in a 16th century riding inn and drink a local ale and eat some homemade steak pie.  If you're lucky, the sun might even make an appearance and you can enjoy your beer in the garden.  But it doesn't matter.