Day 120-121: Cairo and Abu Simbel, Egypt

There's not a lot about modern Egypt to recommend itself as a tourist destination.  Trash filled streets, buildings either half-finished or half falling down, and some of the worst roads anywhere- both badly maintained and choking with traffic.  It has pushy touts and shopkeepers who are usually good for a bit of banter ("I have a great selection of junk" being one of the better invitations), but a significant portion bordering on annoying, verging on full-blown rip-off merchants.  And then there's the heat.  A 45 degree day in the desert is a great experience, one of those world extremes that you need to feel for yourself to appreciate.  But once the novelty has worn off it's not so much fun.  Egypt in summer is the endless quest for shade, air-conditioning, swimming and cold drinks.  Baking in mid-40s temperatures isn't an easy proposition for a pasty white boy who has grown up in a temperate climate where over 20 is a lovely day and 25+ is a scorcher.  Even Jockey's best heat dispersing underwear technology is powerless against the merciless fury of Ra, the sun god.

Sure, there are some fantastic beaches, with superb snorkelling, diving, and sun-bathing (although to be fair not any better than any number of other countries around the world), but these have now been overrun by hordes of Russians and other sundry Eastern Europeans- all mullets, white pants and alligator tans.  Alternately leathery old couples parading around in the thinnest of bikinis, a mere skerrick of swimsuit struggling to stay afloat in a sea of flesh, and young couples, invariably a skinny chick with too much fake tan and bleached hair which has been straightened into oblivion, and some massive Euro man-beast, the kind of guy who is equal parts pectorals, biceps, gut and tribal tats.

Fortunately, Egypt has history on its side.  For a long time, Egypt was ruled by some of history's greatest megalomaniacs, who were fortunate enough to be blessed with wealth and a massive slave population, in addition to an inalienable sense of entitlement.  The monuments they have left behind are testament to their arrogance and power, and provide the modern tourist with some stunning sights.

The big daddy of them all are of course the pyramids at Giza.  The pyramids are so famous, so indelibly imprinted on our consciousness that it's almost dreamlike to see them.  A view that you've seen countless times before, an architectural archetype, a meme of culture, yet it is still a marvel to see for yourself.  The realisation of a childhood dream, the finally-I've-made-it moment.  There are all kinds of amazing facts about the amount of labour, stone and technology it took to build them, but they don't matter.  Simply standing still and looking is enough.

It's unbelievably hot, crowded and there are pushy touts everywhere, but it's an amazing feeling.  Unfortunately it's hard to capture this on film, as the best view which takes in all 3 pyramids is marred by by a dirty asphalt road carved through the middle of the vista, endless conveys of white tourist coaches blotting the postcard view.  It's possibly the only good quality, completed road in all of Egypt and runs through the middle of one of civilization's greatest achievements.

Possibly even more impressive is the temple complex at Abu Simbel.  Ramses II built this monument, in his own image, and a glaring statement of power and wealth, deliberately situated in the middle of nowhere in Southern Egypt.  A warning to any would-be invaders from the south that anyone with enough riches and power to build a towering edifice, carved from the rock itself in the middle of the desert is not someone to mess with.  Even now, for someone used to massive sky scrapers and jumbo jets, Abu Simbel still inspires awe.  For someone living in the Bronze Age it must have seemed as if it was the work of the gods, which I suppose was the point.

It's also one of the rare places where modern engineering can match the work of the ancients.  When the site was faced with being submerged by the planned Aswan damn, UNESCO funded an entire relocation of  the temple.  The temple was carved up into neat chunks, then relocated, piece by piece, to higher ground.  And not just the temple and statues, but the mountain itself.   Of course, it was all foreign funded and completed by outside contractors, otherwise Abu Simbel would currently be sitting in a disused pile, accumulating garbage and the occasional goat, and perhaps a crazy old man selling scarves.