The arms race escalates

The escalating madness that is intra-office gift giving for every conceivable occasion just got even lamer.

In a style truly befitting an office of paper-shufflers, the card-signing process has been "made more robust" by the addition of some unnecessary layers of bureaucracy.

See, you silly private citizens would probably just pass a card around, sign it, and pass it on to the next person. Here's how the bureaucracy does it:

1. draft of list of recipients who should be invited to sign the card. This probably involved setting up a steering group to list the names, before consulting on this proposal for 4-6 weeks.
2. the list of recipients is typed up into a checklist, which is placed in a plastic sleeve and attached to the card.
3. the card is then circulated among this select group. Each person should write a personal message in the card, preferably with some work-related reference included- because that's what people care about when they're off to get married.
4. the signatory should then tick off their name from the tracking sheet, before passing on to the next designated well-wisher.
5. The card must not be signed by anyone outside the approved list. To do so would violate the gift-giving terms of reference, and earn a firm rebuke from the auditors.

Stay tuned for the 16-step process required for a bureaucrat to seek in-principle agreement for some action from his wife.