Common touch fail

The PM has been doing the rounds of local radio stations. For a man who doesn't mind making a complete dork of himself, it's a great opportunity to provide some traditional pre-xmas-news-lite information on his family's ice cream habits, how to date his daughter and other trivia. There was even a dodgy rendition of Snoopy's Christmas.

It's all terribly hokey, but people seem to love that shtick from Mr Key.

It was all good until this let-them-eat-cake moment:

Asked if he had a Christmas message to New Zealanders, he said: "Enjoy the best of New Zealand, it's a wonderful country, it's an amazing place."

The Key family, however, would be holidaying in Hawaii, where he owns an apartment in Maui.

Obesity epidemic

I think I may have uncovered some of the causes of the obesity epidemic in this country. Oviously this will need a lot more research, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the following *may* make you fat:

• tucking into a bag of chips AND a chocolate bar at 8.34am
• cracking a packet of tim tams before breakfast
• buttering your hash browns before placing them in a bacon and egg sandwich. Cos, you know, that dish needs a bit of extra fat to offset all the, er, grease.

Exercise plays a small part too. Why does everyone stand still on escalators- do they think it's a ride? I can understand standing still on the way up, as most people don't like climbing stairs. But going down too? By standing still on a downwards escalator, you're effectively saying "that's right, I'm too lazy to walk downhill, even with a mechanical device propelling me along". That's some kind of lazy.

I smell an awareness campaign coming on.

Christmas grumble

Oh good. The Christmas carols have started. I suppose I should be glad that they waited this long to start.

Here’s a few things more fun than having to listen to Christmas carols:

• Being backed over repeatedly by a slow-moving trolley bus
• Sliding down a rusty razor blades using your balls as brakes
• Discovering you have amoebic dysentery soon after boarding a 20 hour flight to India
• Having a prostate exam
• Having a prostate exam conducted by a gay doctor with no arms

And how come "Happy birthday, dear Jesus" isn't one of our Christmas carols?

Travel plans

So I've done it.

The first part of my 2010 travel plans are now official. In March 2010 I am heading out on a round the world ticket, and in the best traditions of throwing oneself into the deep end, I'm kicking things off in Africa.



To start, a 2 week tour of Rwanda and Uganda, where, amongst other things, I get to trek out and visit the few remaining wild gorillas. I then head to Nairobi where I will kick off a 45 day trip down to Capetown, following the route below:

After that? Whatever the hell I want. I have a flight to London. Eventually I fly through to Jordan and I'll take a cheeky jaunt through the land of whimsy that is the Middle East.

Until then I'm going to be quite pre-occupied with a host of preparatory activities- getting visas, immunisations for yellow fever, packing and moving out of my flat.