One chai latte, a low-fat muffin and a people's revolution- to go, thanks

Who knew that Wellington’s suburban cafes were a hotbed of anti-establishment revolutionary rhetoric?

A couple of days ago I decided to call in at a reasonably well-known suburban café for something to eat. This café is attached to a garden centre, so most of the clientele are nanas meeting for tea, or young families spilling fluffies and flinging muffin crumbs about the place. Pleasant enough, but pretty far from the typical Cuba St cafes brimming with tats, piercings and attitude.

So I was somewhat surprised by the discourse coming from the table next to me, which comprised a father and his two 30-something sons. As I tucked into my breakfast, one of the sons, a somewhat angry man, launched into a diatribe about the evils of modern society. It started off innocently enough- the man explained his views on why we don’t need material possessions to be happy, and why far too many people are obsessed with making money, rather than devoting time to other more fulfilling pursuits.

And since I recently decided to pack in a well-paying job in return for a bit of soul-searching and oh-my-goodness-isn’t-life-hard-in-the-third-world-gee-i-sure-do-appreciate-my-life-now travel time, there wasn’t much for me to disagree with.

However, things moved on fairly rapidly from there. I’m not able to document the totality of his views, as it being spewing forth in that frothing way that only the looney left can do. I can recall the following gems:

• All you need to be happy in life is an axe and some crops. I assume the axe was for building a house?
• I would rather work for free, and be able to tend my crops, than work for a wage. Nevermind that earning a wage could actually make it easier for him to move to a life of crop-tending.
• The reason why the government is increasing police numbers is because they are pro-business, and businesses are putting their prices up, so people have to steal to survive. I hate to think what the reason is for increasing teacher numbers then- must be some kind of capitalist indocrination and brainwashing programme.
• Making a profit should be illegal. Any business owner who makes $1 more than he needs should be locked up. Perhaps a café isn’t the best setting for this kind of discussion?
• Life was better in the dark ages. That’s right- war, famine, disease were tough, but it sure is betting than living in a world with Starbucks and mobile phones. Better to die at 35 eh?
  

Judging from the embarrassed looks coming from his table, I don’t think his family was on the same page. They rapidly polished off their soy lattes (oh yes, soy lattes), piled into Dad’s car and took off.