The wheels on the bus

The other day I referred to expert commentary, noting that you can normally find someone recognised as an authority on almost any subject. Except, of course, those in the field of quackery and snake oil, in which it is impossible to demonstrate expertise.

Professors are right at the top of this list. Write an article about almost any issue and you can find some professor to provide some much needed gravitas. It’s part of the white lab coat phenomenon.

Where things start to fall down is in the field of social policy. If you hear a professor talking about latest trends in nanotechnology or law reform, then you better be listening. But when they get on to public transport, they lose the plot. Take this example:

Only a quarter of commuters talk to other passengers when they are using public transport, new research suggests.

The survey of 900 commuters found that people use mobile phones, reading and listening to music not only to pass the time, but also to draw a boundary defending their privacy.
Transport researcher Dr Jared Thomas, of Victoria University, says his study found many commuters use reading and electronic devices to avoid conversation while travelling.

He says trains and buses should be better designed to encourage face-to-face conversation, as more sociable public transport would reduce crime and bad behaviour onboard by creating a community of regular passengers.

Dr Thomas says people are increasing the amount of time they spend on public transport, and could use this time to network or even find romance.

How much research did it take to conclude that people protect their personal space on the bus? Profound stuff. Of course, it’s not just about being defensive- your morning commute is dead time, so it makes sense to read a book or listen to music.

The good doctor thinks we need to create a community on board, and try networking and finding romance? Um, have you seen the people on the bus? It’s a genetic wasteland out there. Slack jawed mouth breathers, people whose idea of literature is the latest Dan Brown, and people who just plain stink (you know that awful smell of polar fleece when it hasn’t been washed?). And let’s say, for the sake of argument, you spot some lovely young lass on the bus. Do you think she’s gonna be thrilled about someone asking her out on the #5 to the Railway Station? I know a few girls who’ve been asked out by randoms on public transport, and the anecdote is always preceded by “some creep.”

Last year I took public transport pretty much every day, for the first time ever. And I got 4 colds during winter. Normally I only get one, sometimes none. It’s a toxic environment in there.

And it’s not just public transport either. Add ‘public’ to almost any noun and it becomes infinitely worse. To wit-

Bad ==============>Worse
Attending a meeting ===>Attending a public meeting
Using the toilet =======>Using a public toilet
Now open ===========>Now open to the public
The business sector ====>The public sector
Opinion ============>Public opinion